First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JOHN, MICHAEL AND JILL! I love you guys, and can't wait to see you this weekend- it's been way too long! I hope you all have a great day.
Now for my recent realizations...
Work isn't everything. Family and friends are everything. Of course I've known this. I've always known this, but somehow I haven't. At least I haven't been living as though I've known this. Let me explain...
I just worked from 4 am until 3:45 pm. I'm tired. I'm grumpy. I came straight home from work, letting the kids stay at day care hoping that I might be able to catch a small nap before the 6:00 pm mandatory pick-up time. Instead, I find myself frustrated with things, my mind still back at work thinking about what I didn't get done today, what I need to do first when I get there at 4 am (or should I go in a little bit earlier so I can get a couple more things on my to-do list checked off?), or should I go do a load of laundry, or vacuum again because Ruthie is shedding like crazy, and oh- the kitchen is a mess again...the dishwasher needs emptied and re-filled...Urg! I'm tired.
And Brian. He gets up, tries to catch a shower before Isaac and Amelia wake up, then if they aren't up already, gets Isaac up, to the potty, dressed, breakfast. Gets the bottles ready. Brushes Isaac's and his own teeth. Wakes up Amelia and dresses her. Takes them to daycare and lets them feed her. Goes to work, tries to be first in (he'll get the first opportunity to try to sell to walk-ins), they open at 9 am. They close at 7 pm. It is rare for him to get home before 8 pm. By this time, I have fed the kids, possibly bathed them, and have done whatever I can to get them ready for bed including picking out clothes for the next day. When possible, I do whatever cleaning/ laundry, etc. that I can get done or feel like getting done. We start trying to get the kids in bed. I don't end up in bed until 9 pm having spent no time with Brian, and very little with the kids.
Start over the next day with my alarm going off at 2:15 am.
And weekends. Brian works every Saturday but 1 each month. Because daycare doesn't exitst on Saturdays, I spend time with the kids and go in on Sundays. Occasionally on a weekend evening we get to visit with some of our friends or family- probably once per month.
Does it sound like I know family is everything? Not at all. I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself. I don't want to continue to be put in a situation where I am regularly choosing work and sleep over my husband and children. Enough belly-aching. Change is in the air. It is time. People work too much and don't do enough with the people they love and that love them. That is what is wrong with this country. I am ready to down-grade. Down-grade the life style, make some sacrifices. Smaller house with smaller mortgage and taxes, less cable, less stuff, less bills, less work.
More husband, more kids, more brothers and sisters and moms and dads and grandma and grandpa and friends and friends and friends! It's time for us to change!
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2 comments:
WOW!!! You made me cry! I know exactly what you are going through, and I don't even work!! I can't imagine doing what you and Brian do on a daily basis. Just reading your post made me stress out. Andy and I are thinking of the smaller things that need to go. Just think, if you got rid of cable, that could pay for someone to clean the house=more time with kids and husband! Best of luck!
Kari
I'm totally on board. Greg and I have recently been discussing a lot of the same things. We don't have the children to complicate it more, but we've still felt overworked and wonder what it's all for when you feel like your weekends are solely so you can catch up with the house or whatever else is on the list. We did just get rid of our satellite. We're planning for me to work less and be able to "run the house" a little better. Try to eat at home. We could save a lot of money by not always being on the go go go!!! Contentment is definitely about being secure with what you have and it's so hard. I think most people in this country think contentment is fitting the most into your day and accomplishing the most amount of stuff. It sucks and it's not for me either. We do think about you guys and the kids a lot. We definitely hope that life will settle down a bit soon!
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